Wheel of Fortune Wednesday

Dish Washer Wednesday

Propaganda

In this day and age it seems that anyone and everyone is allowed to produce fraudulent readin' material. The worst part is that much of it is bein' embraced by the general public.

Unfortunately I'm findin' out the hard way that none of us are

immune to the type of subculture that produced this next piece of hogwash.

The article I am speakin' of is a feature in the 

December issue of FIDO magazine. 

This doctrine of misinformation would have gone unnoticed by Dad had it not been thrust under his nose. I'm afraid he has succumbed to it's powerful, yet misguided message, 

for it was not long after readin' it that he said the words I 

thought I would never hear comin' out of his mouth: 

"Sorry Ches, that's all you're getting - I'm cutting back".

I don't know who Arden Moore and Vladislav Roytapel are

but obviously they've got a bone to pick with the dawg community.

Rather than bore you and waste your valuable time, I have chosen

to emphasize the more poignant parts of this full page article.

This would be a caricature of the female half of the battle.

(I think this captures the essence of Mom fairly well, don't you?)

This would be a caricature of the male half of the battle.

(This looks nuthin' at all like my dear, sweet dad.)

The followin' excerpt includes some of the most

agonizin' and pathetic advice you will ever read.

(click on article to biggify so as not to miss a single lie)

Now, with my literary license and my trustworthy red pen,

I have taken great pleasure in rectifyin' this madness so that

it reflects what I'm sure you dawgs were already thinkin'

as you read the above.

(again, biggifyin' this will help)

Well, it may not be perfect but at least it's much better than that other rubbish. I will insist that FIDO magazine print a retraction

in hopes of savin' future distress of my canine brothers and sisters.

It's too late for me, the damage here has been done as evidenced by the followin' picture. These buckets are for my Pappy's barn

kittehs and they are overflowin' with the abundance of table scraps

that used to be mine. They are eatin' mighty well for a bunch

of mangy felines who should be earnin' their keep

by managin' the mouse population in the barn.

But no, now they are loungin' in the hayloft with full bellies,

and lickin' their greasy paws with turkey breath.

I've even pulled out some of my best beggin' maneuvers

but they have generated very little in the way of personal payoff.

(Sigh), I am still quite disturbed not only because of the 

cutback of table scraps; but even more so it grieves my

Big Brown heart to know that there exists such a cruel

clique that would take aim against us dawgs who

feast offa table scraps like kings and queens 

take pride in our faithful association with our 2 leggers.

At least it's Friday which is always a great payoff after a long week.

I hope your weekend overflows with an abundance of good stuff.

Chester ;0=)

(meanwhile, down on the farm)

Top Chef

The older I get, the more I realize the days of my youth were spent in frivolous pursuits. I wandered and explored at every turn of the PUs' backs. My whims led me from room to room, seein' interestin' new sights and sniffin' rare smells that I had never encountered in the stable where I first lived. Some might argue that it is good to leave no stone unturned, that traversin' one's domain at a young age actually helps to find what will satisfy one's spirit as the years go by. This may be true so I won't belittle the point, but sumtimes I now wonder if I had concentrated more on the kitchen area maybe my culinary skills would have been that of a top chef.


Not to say that my interests in the other parts of our home have subsided. No, not in the least. It's just that when Mom's in the kitchen I am right by her side, watchin' her every move and ready at a moment's notice to assist. I am entranced as I watch her move from the 'fridge to the counter to the stove and back to the 'fridge time and time again. Foodables movin' to and fro as rivers of drool drop steadily from my jaw and my nose tingles in the wake of their scent.

Nevertheless, I am a quick study and have absorbed much. Choppin', gratin', stirrin', pourin' are tasks of which I have perceived as bein' the greatest of the food preparation skills. To the untrained eye, they may seem menial and common. To me they are the most interestin' simply because the more the foodables move, the more likely they are to be dropped and or spilled. This is where my competent clean-up assistance is a highly regarded talent. Had I been more interested as a pup, would my culinary career be further along? We may never know. But, my zeal and attention to the task at hand (or in this case, paw) was noticed by my mentor who has given me the title, "The Quicker Picker Upper".

Not one to waste an opportunity, I am excited to announce the development of

my own personal line of kitchen products. Here is the first of what I

hope is to be many :

*Comin' soon to a grocery store near you.

Now the weekend is just around the corner,
and I don't know of any quicker picker upper than that!


Bone Appetit!
Chester ;0=)

Warnin' Wednesday

Spring Thaw

Hail? No.......

...... just a little freezer defrostin'.

Ok, it's empty except that cryogenically frozen stink bug there in the back.

Got all my tools ready. I was thinkin', if I take my good old time,

the meat will thaw and I can have all my friends over

for a big old BBQ feast. Temptin'......

... But Mom musta been readin' my mind 'cuz she took over while I

supervised from a comfortable position.

I carefully inspected each and every package as

it was put back into the freezer.

Well now, that little project can be crossed off the to-do list.

I'm a thankful dawg because I realize not everybody has

such a stockpile of food and I know I am blessed.

But, am I just as thankful that it's Monday already?

Like I already said, Hail No!!!

Chester ;0=)

Court is in Session

We live in a country that operates on a system where you are declared innocent until proven guilty. This phrase means simply that an individual is not legally guilty until a jury returns a verdict of guilty. Of course, either the crime was committed or it wasn't, it's just a matter of the jury deciding to convict or acquit based on the evidence presented. Believe me, I have been proven guilty on many a count by a jury of my PUs. But I digress....

Why all this legal mumbo jumbo, you ask?

It's because I will be partakin' in the justice system startin' this comin' Monday and for the whole month of March. I have been served notice to report for duty as a juror at the Federal court level. Yeah-no kiddin'! Would I lie to you about sumpthin' as important as that? I may be guilty of some things, but on that count I am innocent.

What does this mean to you? Well, I will be on the road for approximately 3 hours each day which will leave me little to no time for fun, outdoor activities or bloggin'. I am sorry to say that for now, this blog will be takin' a hiatus and until further notice will have no new posts. It's also quite possible that I will not be chosen as a juror, (although I can hardly imagine why they would not want to see my Big Brown self in the jury stand), and that I'll be back sooner than expected. Only time will tell. I'm sure this will be a learnin' experience and who knows where it may lead.

Today, Chester Hoover juror....

.... tomorrow Chester Hoover Presidin' Judge.

And, if these criminals don't like their sentence

I'll just up and give 'em an attitude adjustment

with that cool hammer I'll have on my desk.

TGIF which means the weekend is right around the corner ~ 

just the kind of attitude adjuster we're lookin' for!

Until we meet again, have fun you crazy canines!

Chester ;0=)