Monday, April 27, 2009

Chester's day at the 2 Legger's Grocery store

How many of you dawgs out in DogBlogville would like to have more choices in your diet? This is something that I've been mulling over for some time now. Why are our choices confined to Petsmart, Petco and similar other Pet-only stores? Not that there's a thing wrong with them. It's just that I wanna go where 2 leggers go.
She brings home such wonderful things that no store I've ever been in sells. Raw meats, cheeses, breads, cookies.........oh just the thought makes my head spin!



Mom tells me that where she shops for groceries that dawgs are not allowed. Personally, I think she should boycott the place but then I'm afraid her and Dad might start eatin' my food so I better let that one go. Ya gotta choose your battles, ya know!

So like I said, this has been an eatin' at me for some time and I begged and begged until Mom finally agreed to sneak me in so I could see just what this food paradise was like from the inside out. You'd probably like to know how she did that so here is a little peek at part of my disguise.

Ta-Dah!



Pretty sneaky, huh?

The time finally came for us to go. I was excited and a fine layer of drool moistened my oversized, flappy gums. We got there and once we were past the friendly man handing out the grocery carts, I knew I was in. There was no way I was sitting in that little seat for kids either. I needed to be within snooter range of all the millions of products available.

Mom kept a tight rein on me around the meats and it's probably good because I was ready to forget the rest of the store and just lay down amidst all the glorious animal delicacies. It took a little-no, ALOT of coaxing but Mom finally got me away from that part of the store. We came to the snack aisle. I've seen some of these 2 legger treats around our house. Even tasted a few but not as many as there are available. So since everything was bagged tightly, Mom gave me my space so I could explore.

Pretzels - been there, crunched them.
Crackers - it's true, everything's better when it sits on a Ritz.
Cookies - Mmmmmmmm-double stuff!!


Hmmmmm, what's this? Arrrrrggggggggghhhhhhh!!! NO!! NOT HERE! Say it can't be true!! That sneaky, good-for-nothin', low-lyin', dirty scumbag Mr. Stick is now endorsing cookies! How can someone so evil have their name plastered all over something so sweet and good? Giggly, googly eyed fun cookies-my butt!! I guess you eat one and BAM! - all of a sudden you're choking and trying to breathe? What next, OJ Simpson selling orange juice?



Well, that did it! No more grocery store trips for me. I flew out of that store so fast they never saw that my Nike sneakers had fallen off and my ears had flopped out of my baseball cap.

All of a sudden my same ol', same ol' kibble looks magnificent!

Woofs and scary cookie slobbers,
Chester

16 comments:

Nibbles Treats said...

Mr. Stick! You found him! Dirty rotten devil!

Tinkerbell, Oscar and Tucker

Joey said...

Oh no, Chester! Mr. Stick is endorsing cookies now? I'm glad you got out of that store safely and you weren't fooled into buying them. Whew!

See ya!
Joey

Stella said...

He is trying to appear to be a GOOD stick, one who would only sell you good things. We Dog Bloggers know him for the evil genius he is, but all those innocent children out there, one day eating his cookies and the next day being clubbed in their back yard. What can we do? Who can we report him to?

Yesterday he was in Minnesota on his way to Iowa, if you see him, let us know on your blog. Don't wait!

Kisses,
Stella

Anita said...

You look so funny with those glasses! You rock Chester!

Ms. ~K said...

That's just wrong, Mr.Stick!!!

I wish we had burned you in our fireplace when we had the chance last week here in Georgia.

Pedro said...

Chester,

How on earth did your mom sneak you into the human grocery store? I mean it was a good disguise and all but still? I haven't seen too many humans covered in fur and walking on all 4's! You must be a spy or something in order to pull that off! I'm impressed! Too bad about Mr. Stick. Hey, next time you see that bad stick - pee on him!

Pedro

stephanie of stopbouncing said...

!!! That crazy Mr. Stick!

And Chester, how brave of you to venture into the grocery. I could hardly recognize you with your glasses on.

Mr. Stick said...

Way to run Chester - or should I call you Sally now?

My quest for world snack food domination continues. Careful with that pretzel stick...

Gus, Louie and Callie said...

What a wonderful trip. Now you know what all the hype is.. hehe
Great story..

Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus, Louie and Callie

NESSA the hovawart said...

Hi, Chester,
good story and great disguise hehe...
Kisses and hugs,
Nessa

Aki and Poopie said...

hi there chester! saw your name in the blog roll of the 4 musketeers... we are particualrly interested since I, myself, am also a lab (and I have a choco lab brother at home)!

it was nice meeting you! hope we can be friends.

drooly kisses,

Aki

Joe's Foster Dogs said...

Hey Chester...
You are really chocolate!

My Albert is more black w/a slight choco mix.

Thanks for stopping buy...yes we've had some tough times and miss George A LOT...but Albert and Sally are here.

Team 3 Dawg Flite said...

Chester, I vote you enter the witness protection program. Someone's out to get you, buddy. Love, Sally

Life With Dogs said...

You can take him Chester!!

Pedro said...

Chester,

I am an expert sharer!

Pedro

Gus, Louie and Callie said...

Yes even the treats are bigger in Texas..

Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus, Louie and Callie

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