Friday, January 23, 2009

Ob·ses·sion


Pronounced: äb-ˈse-shən. Definition: a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable thing, idea or feeling.

I had to look it up 'cause Mom says I have one. What with, you ask? Paper and tissues-particularly used tissues. It started when I was just a pup, riding in the car one day on Mom's lap. (She has her own little obsession with wearing hoodies. You know, the kind with the pockets in the front.) Anyhow, me having the nose of a dog (duh) and it ain't just for lookin' pretty-I smelled something wafting ever so gently from that pocket. My nose followed that smell to find the most delicous treat, a used tissue. Blissfully unaware of what was about to happen, she continued to flap her lips as I gently slid the tissue from it's nest. Gulp! I was hooked like Tatum O'Neal on crack. It's been a downhill slide ever since. It's even branched off into paper. Now I'm not as particular about paper-used, new-it's all good. Newspapers usually get Mom and Dad flying to my side. Oh but the other night I found what must have been a particularly valuable piece of paper. Mom had gotten the mail before we took our walk. She threw it on the kitchen counter and off we went to the woods. A fine time was had by all. So we come back and she proceeds to the living room for just a second, forgetting all about that valuable mail on the counter. I started sniffing and it smelled gooooood. It had a nice inky sauce drizzled over it. So I grabbed it and ran. When she saw what I had she turned a whiter shade of pale and immediately went for the BAD CAN!! (For those of you who don't know what the bad can is, trust me. You don't want to.) I'll tell ya anyways. It's a soda can with small, round objects in it and it's top is covered with duct tape. When shaken, it emits an obnoxiously loud noise and hurts my ears until I'm begging for mercy. I really didn't want to drop my prize but Mom's face scared me even more than the bad can. Once she had it back in her shaking hands, she calmed a bit and saw that I had not even torn what she was calling a "check". I guess that inky sauce on it is what makes it so valuable. I guess she'll be a little more careful where she places "checks" from now on. So all this to say, if anybody has any suggestions how I can break this addiction please let me or Mom know. We would be forever in your debt. Chester

10 comments:

Ms. ~K said...

Our mom has a bad can too...we hate it, but it works!

Sas loves paper, especially used facial cleansing cloths-The first time she swallowed one I called poison control. Once the lady stopped laughing she said it wouldn't hurt her, just clean her out! Yep, it passed and all was well...she isn't as bad about it since she's gotten older.
Good luck and keep the can handy,
K

Chester's Mom said...

I bet Sas had the prettiest butt in town after that. Glad she didn't get sick. Thanks for giving Mom hope that my addiction will pass also. Ches

Mason Dixie said...

I used to be into TP, as soon as mom would leave I would run to the bathroom tear off the TP and destroy it. For weeks she called me the TP bandit. She now keeps it in a drawer, so that stopped by addiction right fast. BOL. good luck. =)

Beth said...

I like the small paper cups my mom keeps in the bathroom. I have to bide my time though, waiting patiently until she carelessly forgets to close the bathroom door. Then I casually roam to the bathroom and snatch up my treasure. What happens next is the best part...mom chases me around the house saying things like "leave it" and "spit it." Of course, I know what they mean, but I love to watch her run...it seems to make her happy.
---Gracie

Nigel, Sola and Co. said...

Oh no. Once they taste paper there is no going back. Keep that can handy :)

Mason Dixie said...

ok. thanks for clearing that up, I was getting a little jealous and worried. Love and Licks. =)

Kris10 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kris10 said...

Don't know what to tell your mom.

They struggle with Bosley's obsession too. He gets a little beeper warning when he's doin' the unwanted thing, then he might get zapped if he doesn't listen... I'm new to the can, but I think I would try to avoid the noise.

Not to worry Mason Dixie... My brother, Bosley, and Chester like to play together. I am a much more mature girl and really not interested in those young boys.

Toodles- Abbey

uought2b.a.dog said...

That is too funny!!! I have to watch what I put anywhere around here, too. Shamu doesn't mess with anything, but oh not so for Prissy!!!She gets into EVERYTHING!

Stella said...

Hey, Chester! First time here for me, but your blog is great! I am putting you on my list of favorites.

(Quieter) Yes, Chester, I like paper, too. Kleenex, writing paper, post-it notes, just about anything. I'm not proud of it and my Mom doesn't like it, so I try to control myself. But I can't always. Its made out of trees, right, and they are favorites for us. I dunno!

Kisses,
Stella

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...