In this day and age it seems that anyone and everyone is allowed to produce fraudulent readin' material. The worst part is that much of it is bein' embraced by the general public.
Unfortunately I'm findin' out the hard way that none of us are
immune to the type of subculture that produced this next piece of hogwash.
The article I am speakin' of is a feature in the
December issue of FIDO magazine.This doctrine of misinformation would have gone unnoticed by Dad had it not been thrust under his nose. I'm afraid he has succumbed to it's powerful, yet misguided message,
for it was not long after readin' it that he said the words I
thought I would never hear comin' out of his mouth:
"Sorry Ches, that's all you're getting - I'm cutting back".
I don't know who Arden Moore and Vladislav Roytapel are
but obviously they've got a bone to pick with the dawg community.
Rather than bore you and waste your valuable time, I have chosen
to emphasize the more poignant parts of this full page article.
This would be a caricature of the female half of the battle.
(I think this captures the essence of Mom fairly well, don't you?)
This would be a caricature of the male half of the battle.
(This looks nuthin' at all like my dear, sweet dad.)
The followin' excerpt includes some of the most
agonizin' and pathetic advice you will ever read.
(click on article to biggify so as not to miss a single lie)
Now, with my literary license and my trustworthy red pen,
I have taken great pleasure in rectifyin' this madness so that
it reflects what I'm sure you dawgs were already thinkin'
as you read the above.
(again, biggifyin' this will help)
Well, it may not be perfect but at least it's much better than that other rubbish. I will insist that FIDO magazine print a retraction
in hopes of savin' future distress of my canine brothers and sisters.
It's too late for me, the damage here has been done as evidenced by the followin' picture. These buckets are for my Pappy's barn
kittehs and they are overflowin' with the abundance of table scraps
that used to be mine. They are eatin' mighty well for a bunch
of mangy felines who should be earnin' their keep
by managin' the mouse population in the barn.
But no, now they are loungin' in the hayloft with full bellies,
and lickin' their greasy paws with turkey breath.
I've even pulled out some of my best beggin' maneuvers
but they have generated very little in the way of personal payoff.
(Sigh), I am still quite disturbed not only because of the
cutback of table scraps; but even more so it grieves my
Big Brown heart to know that there exists such a cruel
clique that would take aim against us dawgs who
take pride in our faithful association with our 2 leggers.
At least it's Friday which is always a great payoff after a long week.
I hope your weekend overflows with an abundance of good stuff.
(meanwhile, down on the farm)