Friday, March 20, 2009

Dog Bloggers Anonymous

Hi, my name's Chester and I'm a postaholic.
(Everybody say "Hi Chester).
This is my story. A casual acquaintance turned me onto dog blogging. I started out with just one blog post never thinking it would become my passion - my obsession, if you will. It felt good and I thought I could just post once. Posting is a vicious junkyard dog masquerading as a sweet tempered golden retriever as I soon found out. Soon I was posting two or three times a week.

I used to enjoy the outdoors and taking in the splendor of all that God created. Pee mail drew me in. Groundhogs with their sweet perfume beckoned me from afar. Butterflies teasing me to be chased. But now my toys lay ignored and abandoned.

What was once a passing fancy has taken over my life. Now I see a post begging to be told everywhere I turn. The meager allowance that I used to spend on trivials such as new collars and Beggin' strips is now being saved in hopes of acquiring a portable laptop. I yearn for the day when I can cafe hop where wireless internet access is free.

Night has never been a friend to me and many nights I found myself watching the clock and counting groundhogs. But now as I lay awake night after night I'm wanting only my PC and the pleasures that lie within. Paws longing to stroke my keyboard. If sleep does come, "Add Image" and "Post Comments" buttons chase me down in my dreams. Hitting the "Publish Post" button brings such ecstasy only previously surpassed by the humping of my dog bed. Bloodshot eyes opening to see on my PC screen what I once thought to be only imagined conversations with my 2 leggers. Days turned into nights as I cared not for food or drink.

This past Saturday was when I hit rock bottom. I had waited for hours for the Post Office to open, only to find that it was not at all what I thought it was. That's when I knew it was time to put an end to this bondage.

(Go on Chester)
They've told me here at Dog Bloggers Anonymous that the first step on the road to recovery is admitting your problem. I have to say I feel so much better already-yet I feel I am not alone. You know who you are.

You're the one claiming a headache only to be found huddled collar-less under the bedcovers, laptop keys being pounded with wreckless abandon.

You're the one with the glazed eyes, camera glued to your body, surveying the happenings of the 2 leggers and 4 leggers in your home hoping that with the next flash of the camera a new post will be born.

And yes, I've seen you scanning the Help Wanted ads after your 2 leggers are done with the newspaper hoping to find someone out there willing to pay for your unique posting abilities.

And there are some of you out there who, even though do not want to admit it, have been seen on street corners begging for just one quick post on a passersby's computer.

They've told me that this is a 12 step recovery program. I'm desperately reaching out to Dog Bloggers Anonymous. I can only hope that it's not too late for me. For those of you who see yourself in this situation, I suggest that you reach out for help before it's too late for you also. I think we can beat this addiction if we stick together.

Woofs and postaholic slobbers!


Nibbles Treats said...

What a great post. Thank goodness there are doctors out there to help you. We haven't gotten to that point yet because there are three of us and we take turns posting. And let's be honest, Tucker is so scatter-brained. He cannot remember if he is coming or going. Get help! Do not let this control your life.

Tinkerbell, Oscar and Tucker

Anonymous said...

Great post, Chester! For me, it's not posting that's the problem, it's not being able to say no to making more friends. My blogging habit was under control when I only had a handful of friends. It didn't seem like adding one or two here and there would make a difference. But now that I've got over 50 friends, I find myself turning my back on things I used to like doing so I can read their bloggies, chuckle at their photos, and compose appropriate comments. And every time I turn on the computer, I see more friends to meet! I've told myself, Joey, you've got to stop this. No more new friends! But it's hard. I'm glad there's help.

See ya!

Chester's Mom said...

Joey-You are a prime candidate for Dog Bloggers Anonymous. They help all kinds of addictions. I'm so glad you recognize your problem and are willing to get help. I, too started out thinking I would keep my group of friends small but everyday somebody new comes along that seems so nice. But if I hadn't added to my friends list, I woulda never met you Joey and that would just have been a crime!
Woofs and understanding slobbers!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for understanding, Chester. Any help you can give me will be appreciated.

Your pal,

Gus, Louie and Callie said...

We love it. We think we may have that problem. We post everyday and mom is always taking pictures..

Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus, Louie and Callie

Life With Dogs said...

I have no idea what you are talking about.

Now can someone tell me why my thumb has turned in to a space key?

Welcome to the madness, it never ends. Good luck keeping up with commenting! :)

Team 3 Dawg Flite said...

I found some Blogorette gum that they say helps a lot. But I'm not ready to cut back. I can blog and it won't hurt me. Wheeeeee! Love, Sally

Chester's Mom said...

Thanks for the Blogerette tip there, Sally!! I will have to add that to Mom's grocery list, along with some Frosty Paws ice cream. And if blogging doesn't interfere with your dock diving and you think you can handle both-go for it! Just be careful!

Woofs and gummy slobbers!

Tee said...

Ya know if it hadn't been for blogging I wouldn't have been able to meet all my new furry friends from all over the world ... can't possibly be a bad thing, no?

licks and wags

Tuffy of Dog Woods

Mason Dixie said...

I am a blogaholic for sure. I pace all day for my mom to come home from work to help me catch up. And oh how my list has grown of who I follow. I spend hours trying to make sure I do not miss a post, and oops some how I missed this one. sorry. I am addicted and am not ready for a cure yet. I do find it hard to fit in my walks, parks and runs unless it will be a post for the future. But hey I met you. =)

Anonymous said...

Check it out its incredible

An innocent dog gets shot at by a Surfside Florida officer and its not even in Surfside and the dog does not even attack or even show agressiveness

An innocent woman who happens to be a Surfside resident gets shot in the neck

Its not even in Surfside it happens in Hialeah Florida

Who goes to get their mail with a gun

Who shoots at an innocent dog and hits an innocent woman

Who pays for that "take home car" a police car given by taxpayers to officers to drive to and from work and whatever at taxpayers expense - nice --

all on video

weirder than fiction

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