Lessons Learned

Let me begin by sayin' that Mom and I are both startin' out the week just a little wiser than we were when we left you on Friday. The weekend made me realize that some of life's most valuable lessons are not learned in the classroom. Not that I've ever been in a classroom but Mom says she has and I think that just proves my point that classrooms don't always teach what is referred to as "common" sense.

Weekends always allow more time to be spent with my 2 leggers than what the work week permits. And usually they make for good entertainment but as it were, the neighbors were hosting a pig roast and I would have gladly given up my family time to join the party next door. As the evening progressed the sweet smell of roasting swine filled the neighborhood. My nose lifted and every fiber of my being wanted to leave all that I normally know and love just to find the source of that heavenly bouquet. What stopped me, you ask? Of course it was Mom and that blasted leash. She knows me all too well and has learned to take the necessary precautions to stay one step ahead of me.

I spent a restless night hearin' all the revelry next door and as the porker continued to spin, the air only got heavier with scent. Morning finally came but again, I was not allowed off-leash and this is where Lesson #1 was presented to me.

Lesson #1
INVITATION: A spoken or written request for someone's presence or participation.
Mom explained that this pig roast was "Invitation Only" which means it was only to be attended by those who are invited - of which I was not. I retaliated with the concept of party crashing but she won the battle once again and I was subjected to the leash on every outdoor venture. And then as if this already hasn't fallen under the category of "Cruel and Unusual Punishment", she put me in my kennel while she ran off and had breakfast with a friend. My jowls dripped as the scents wafted thru my outdoor prison. It was torture of the worst kind.

After what seemed to be endless hours she arrived back home once again and with leash in hand she released me from the stockade. She apparently was feelin' remorse for her actions and suggested swimming might take my mind off the the pork product that was so close, yet so far away from me.

An opportunity to go swimming is of course, never turned down by me. Unfortuately, we have yet to find a good place to swim without driving so far to get there. I gotta give it to Mom, she is determined she is going to find the perfect swimmin' hole that involves a short amount of travel time. It's gotta be around here somewhere because we live very close to the Conococheague Creek, or as the locals call it, "the Jig". It is approximately 80 miles in length, with 58 miles in Pennsylvania and 22 miles in Maryland. There just has to be a place for me to swim along it's banks somewhere, don't ya think? Mom had in her head a couple possibilities so we loaded up and took off, passing several bikers and a jogger who were in obvious need of a good barking at. I hung my head out the window and gave them my best impersonation of a mean dog and left them all with something to think about as they traversed our little country roads.


First destination: Sandy Bottom. Excitement quickly turned to disappointment as we saw the sign saying Road Closed. Mom didn't even take her lead foot off the gas and drove on to,

Second Destination: Rabbit Road. We parked at a pull off right next to the bridge that crosses over the Jig at this point. Now before any of you Greyhounds readin' this get excited, we didn't see any rabbits. One thing we did see made us think of Norwood, a fellow blogger who is addicted to frogs. This one's for you Norwood!

He was restin' on a 2 legger's sleepin' bag that for whatever reason had been left there. I don't know why some 2 leggers feel the need to junk up some of the best swimmin' holes 'cuz it can be distractin' to say the least checkin' out all the food wrappers, cans and other paraphernalia that are left behind. Not only that but broken glass is usually found and we all know that glass and flesh are not a good combination. Even so, Mom allowed me to get my fur wet and I did a little retrievin'. This is where Mom and I both learned Lesson #2.

Lesson #2

Always do a Wubba check before leaving the house to go swimmin'. Wubba had been left behind and all we could find that was retrieve ready was sticks. As we all know, a stick can be a dangerous thing if one end meets the ground while I am runnin' with the other end still in my mouth. This is my lesson to show any dog out there who likes to fetch sticks the WRONG way to carry one. (Mom made a quick but thorough check to see if this stick had googly eyes before tossing. One never knows when the evil Mr. Stick might be lurkin' about.)

Even knowin' this Mom threw a couple for me just so I could release some of my pent up energy. Here's a little clip showin' me searchin' for a stick that musta floated away without me seein' it because I never did find it. One problem you never have with a purple Wubba. The main reason I'm showin' it is because at the very end you will see that Mom learned Lesson #3.

Lesson #3

Flip flops do not make good water shoes. I only wish I coulda been the one holdin' the video camera. She learned first hand what it means by "the road that leads to destruction is a very slippery slope". We may not have made it to Sandy Bottom but in the end Mom and I both got to see a Muddy Bottom.

Third destination: Black's Woods.Several friends have told us about this little picnic area that is nestled in a secluded area beside the Jig. They say it is a good place for a dog to get wet. This is the second time we've scoped it out and the second time we've been disappointed to find the area already occupied by 2 legger activities. Determined to not give up we turned around and headed for Destination #4.

Fourth and Final destination: Concrete Bottom. This is really off the beaten path and was forgotten about until her breakfast buddy mentioned it to her. The reason it is called Concrete Bottom is because the one lane road leads right into the creek and up the other side. One could hardly even call it a road, more like a glorified cow path. We parked, got out and even though it was not deep enough to swim, it turned out to be a nice place to splash and romp, retrievin' every little stick Mom could dig up along the edge. This is where Lesson #4 comes in.

Lesson #4

This lesson actually stems from Lesson #2 which has to do with the Wubba check. We both learned that you can improvise and quickly turn a plastic water bottle into an object worthy of throwin' and retrievin'. Filled about half full of water gives it enough weight to be thrown and it fits nicely into my mouth for it's return to Mom for another round. And round after round I went until we decided we should probably call it a day and head back home for food to replace the calories we burned.

Last but not least, Lesson #5

Don't pet me after I've been lyin' in poison ivy. I think this is a lesson Mom will be ponderin' all week long.

As we all know this comin' weekend is a holiday weekend and I'm sure you are all itchin' to scratch this weekend off the calendar as am I. But probably none of us are itchin' and scratchin' near as much as Mom.

Chester ;0=)

Pee. Ess. If you think you know where that last swimmin' spot is but aren't sure, check back this week. As the sun begins to burn brighter and hotter, you should see some popcorn a poppin' along the edges. Then you will know it's the right spot.

Fabulously Freaky Friday

YO, DAWGS!
Chester here to welcome you to the most exciting part of the week.
For me, this ol' week seemed to stretch itself out as long as possible and the jewel we call Friday seemed as elusive as that doggone squirrel that taunts me daily. But now it has rolled around again to finally usher in the weekend.


If you remember, on Tuesday I confessed I had been a bad blogger and had failed to keep up with recognizing the great awards I have received. The very next day a surprise landed in my lap and I am still scratchin' my noggin wonderin' if Andrea over at Arise 2 Write had mistakenly awarded me this. She passed this award onto all who follow her blog saying that we each inspire her daily. I'll be honest, I didn't see this one comin' but I am gonna display it proudly just as a reminder that I can and should do something that will lift someone's spirits each day, just as she does with her words of wisdom. Thanks Andrea, although it was unexpected, it was highly pleasing to receive.


I am constantly amazed at the brilliant and unique talents I see on all the blogs I follow so it is hard for me to narrow it down to just a few. I can't imagine that any of you do not inspire so please pick it up and display it for all the blogging world to see if you so desire.

All that being said, I would like to personally hand out just one to a friend and fellow blogger. You may remember this blog I've mentioned before. It is Shelby Daleanna who up until last week lived in China. You see, she is now the adopted daughter of a couple who have waited a very long time for her. I have watched as their patience has been tried and tested over and over. They waited a little over 3 years even after turning in all their adoption paper work. It has been one seriously long roller coaster ride but now that she is here, it looks very much like she is a gem and is more than worth all the waiting. So I would like to personally hand this over to Chris and Bryan who have inspired me as I've watched them endure this long process with a great attitude. Please stop by and welcome Shelby to America-her forever home!

Now to the freaky part.

I've got no problem lettin' you know that I am simply beside myself that this work week is over.


Hope your weekend proves to be double the PLEASURE, double the FUN!!
Chester ;0=)

Wet Look Wednesday

Truthful Tuesday

I am the first to admit I am a poor receiver and undeserving of all the great awards that you wonderful bloggers have bestowed on me since I began blogging in December of last year. I did not display them because I was unappreciative but because I was in the process of learning and I shamefully confess that I didn't know how to do it. (head hanging low).



So here I am trying to turn over a new leaf. I want to start displayin' some of the cool awards I get by dogs who choose to blog about themselves and their pack. Each and every one of you who stop by are special and your comments give me great pleasure to read. So thanks to all, whether you've awarded me or not.

Sad as it is, I do not remember who gave me this "You're a Gem" award but I gotta start somewhere. I saved it hoping to get around to displayin' it but forgot to save the sender of it. So whoever you are, thanks! It is a very nice award, although "You're a Germ" is more likely how it should be stated.



Second on my list may seem distasteful to some but it is one I will display proudly for it says so much about me. It is the Oops! I ate it award from Coco the Chihuahua. The Oops is only to try and convince 2 leggers of my innocence. Sadly it may take much more than that, I'm afraid.



Part of this award is to confess to things I have eaten. I'm supposin' that means stuff I shouldn't have eaten, but did anyway. This was very hard to narrow down and took some serious self-relfection. This is what came quickly to mind:

Socks, underwear, pen, pencil, un-frosted cake, gum on the floor at Lowe's, cigarette butts, raccoon poop, baby birdies, my own bandana, Mom's shirt, the oven mitt (ya can't eat just one!), stones, tulips, daisies, sticks, soybeans, corn, green beans (outta the bucket Dad was snippin' them in), grocery lists, receipts, tissues, meat wrappers outta the garbage can, newspapers.......................... The list could go on and on, as you can surely see. I think you get the idea though that nothin' is safe around me. So thanks, Coco for this award which allows me to confess my eatin' crimes. It also asks that I pass this on to 5 other of my dog friends. It's so hard for me to decide so feel free to snag it-just like you would a tasty morsel-and throw it on your blog for all the world to see if you so desire.

There it is, my first attempt to start showin' my appreciation to the folks who think of me when handing out awards. Bear with me as I hope to do better in the future. Now I'll see if I can manage to get them displayed on my side bar.
*Mom is technically challenged and is no help whatsoever.

That's it for today. I'm gonna trot on down the road now.



Chester ;0=)

Sole Food

Good Monday morning! I sure hope the weekend was kind to you. Speakin' for myself, it was VERY kind. It jumpstarted right off the bat when Mom and Dad got home from work Friday night. I was finally able to get to the package that had been dropped off at the back door earlier in the day. Call it intuition or whatever, somehow I knew it was mine. My little Vermont vixen, Truffles, aka: Fudge Pants, had sent me a box of goodies for my amusement, along with a letter. I will only share a part of the letter with you though, for I firmly believe intimate details should only be shared between lovers.

I hope no persons of the law reads this-I'm sure she really paid for my stuff. Really I'm sure. I saw no security tags. Anyway, the card she speaks of is a paper doll likeness of Ms. Truffles with a message inside written in her own paw.

She says she personalized it by sleeping on it so that it would smell of her special scent of gravy and grass stains. Then she cut to the chase by adding a firm warning that "I should not be tempted to inspect the north end of any south bound hussy lab that should happen by." I think she speaks of Ms. Godiva of Harrisburg who has more than once shown interest in me. Truffles also added that I should keep this card as a reminder and that in her words "she has some seriously rusty scissors in her toybox." That should also serve as a good reminder for me to watch my step!

Ms. Godiva
*I can honestly say it's kinda macho feelin' to have not one, but TWO lovely Chocolate females fightin' over me. I just hope this doesn't lead to a Jerry Springer episode.

Anyway, she did real well pickin' out loot for me. She knows oh, so well my newfound love of bully sticks and included a 12 incher that will not only satisfy my chewing needs but will also keep my teeth nice and white for the weddin'. She is also concerned for my safety and included a window sticker tellin' firemen that I may be trapped inside. Not a bad thing to have posted because you just never know when Mom may have left the iron on. The cookies you see are wonderful tastin' tidbits in the shapes of fire hydrants, pawprints and groundhogs with bow ties. Well, they mighta been bears but either way they all tasted really, really good. So good that I helped myself to a couple while Mom went to get her camera.

The piece de resistance of the whole package is, of course, the groundhog stuffie. Can't say that Truffle's idea of suffocatin' the little rodents along with her rusty scissors comment doesn't concern me just a little bit about the mental stability of my life partner, but still not a bad tool to remember in the Battle of the Groundhogs.

Only problem is Mom and I have been in a heated debate ever since we saw this stuffie. I tried to explain the benefits of shreddin' it and Mom tried to convince me of the cuteness of it and how it would be almost like a taxidermied trophy to place in our home. We did the best we could to come to a compromise. She will let me have it under her supervision only and for short periods of time. You can see how she can't keep her paws off of it even though it's mine.

This is what Mr. Groundhog Stuffy looks like after that little bit of playtime.

Now he looks like he lost the battle with a jar of seriously stiff hair gel. Either that or he is a Rod Stewart wannabe.

So anyway, that is how my weekend got off to such a great start. The time and effort she took to get me such an awesome package really touched me. Got me to thinkin' that I should show my appreciation. Then it came to me that there's a new little restaurant just around the corner that I think would be great for us to try together. It's called "Madame Shoesie's Raw Bar and Buffet". I hear it's been rated a "10" by some major food critics. Just lookin' at it through the window has me droolin'.

I got a chance to look at the menu and some of the delicacies featured are: Nike Nuggets, Ked's Kickers, Blackened Filet of Sole, Land's End Lubbers, Merrell's Meatballs. I'm not sure what it's called but there looks to be a sweet pink confection of a dessert that I can hardly wait for us to sink our teeth into. The only thing I was hopin' they'd have and don't is Hard Shelled Clogs. I know how much Truffles loves them so I spoke to the proprietor and she said there is a good chance she will be adding them soon. Hopefully before Truffles reads this and hops a fast bound train headed south. In the meantime Ms. Truffles, thanks so much for my wonderful gift box-it ROCKED!!!

So there it is - the highlight of my weekend. Now it's time to bear down and get the old snooter back to the grindstone.
Hope this week treats you all very well, body and sole.
Chester :0=)

Friday Funnies

It's finally Friday! Things are lookin' up!!!

Why is Friday the day of the week most talked about by all?
It's still another workday where we all must bear the load.
But if the hands of the Friday clock should somehow decide to stall,
we would have wished for Saturday if we had only knowed!

I hope every facet of all my friend's weekend time is FANTASTIC!!

Chester ;0=)

Savin' Energy

Some of you may remember that we mysteriously lost Mom while at Lake Marberg back in June.



As we have found the time, we have been searchin' for her.

Well, sorta..........

Savin' energy, one thermostat at a time.

Happy Thursday! Try and conserve your energy 'cuz there's a weekend right around the corner.

Chester  :0=)

Watch Dog Wednesday

Jolly Time

Whewwwwww-Wheeeeeeeeee Dawgs! This weekend sure was a scorcher in my part of the world! I don't know about you, but I sure am missin' those cold northern winds and the icy cold of frozen grass on my undercarriage. Even as a pup, the snow and cold never kept me from enjoyin' the great outdoors.

This picture is from my "Got Snow?" campaign. Just lookin' at it cools your sun beaten brow, now doesn't it?



Ya know, when the mercury starts hittin' that 90 degree mark, my love of nature battles with my love of air conditioning. For safety's sake, I keep my surveillance duties to a minimum. As it is the stampede of bugs invading our home who are also trying to find relief from the blazin' sun have kept me entertained and busy. I must admit, they do not offer the satisfaction of a groundhog but they will suffice till the temperature drops to a more reasonable level. To that note I will add that the times I have been out on a search and destroy mission have not been very successful. I believe the groundhog community is also suffering from heat exhaustion and are confining themselves to their naturally air conditioned caverns.


As any of you who have been following my life happenings know, I have a love of corn, and the corn fields surrounding my humble abode offer the pleasure of a 24/7 corn buffet. In this picture from last fall, you can plainly see my joy as I gorge myself like a pig in well, you know.....................



.............uh, mud! Yeah, that's it, mud. Anyway, not to brag but I can clean a corn cob off in a very short time but am not always meticulous about makin' sure I get every last kernel. I mean, why should I waste time with bits and bites when I can easily go back for another full cob? And I do. Time after time. Day after day. Couple that with the fact that Mom and her shovel are more concerned about removing the mini-me's from the grass than they are about getting every undigested kernal. After awhile the yard begins to yellow with the abundance of leftover golden snack size kernels.

This Saturday started out much like any other. Breakfast. Watchin' Mom as she rids the carpet of my fine brown locks. Eatin' a bug. Stealin' a flip-flop. Paper shredding. You know, stuff a dog does to kill time while watching 2 leggers work their butts off. And just watchin' their activity will tire a dog out. So, as the sun climbed high into the sky Saturday, I decided that I needed some fresh air and sprawled out under one of the large maple trees in our back yard. Their tent-like covering offered some relief from the blazin' heat. My eyelids became heavy. I decided to go with it and refresh myself with an afternoon snooze.



I began to dream of Truffles and I workin' in the kitchen, laughin' together as we skewered chunks of groundhog meat. I then grilled the kabobs while she used her culinary skills to create a heavenly gravy in which we drowned our perfectly sizzled meat. My dream was progressing to the point of havin' a gravy filled Truffles for dessert, but was abruptly changed as my ears alerted me to the sound of distant fireworks. As they became louder and clearer I began to awaken and realize that the sounds were real and not a part of my dream. As I yawned and rubbed my paws across my eyes to bring me back to reality, I began to focus on the scene in front of me.



To my amazement, the intense heat of the sun had burst my leavin's and had the surrounding area alive and popping. White puffs of light fluffy goodness covered the green grass marking the territories that I had previously navigated. As I observed the popped kernels, it came to mind that this must be what Orville Redenbacher's yard must look like.





That's when I saw Mom step outside.

Chester's Mom: What in the world? This yard looks like the lobby of the movie theatre after a Hannah Montana Film Fest. Got something to tell me?

Chester: Maybe if you woulda used that sweeper thingy to suck up all my corn leavin's this wouldn't have happened.

Chester's Mom: That "sweeper thingy" is not meant for sucking corn out of the grass. It is for indoor use only.

Chester: Well, then. If you don't like the looks of this, I guess you're gonna have to start pickin' up all my leftover kernels by hand.

Chester's Mom: I don't think so!!!

Chester: Then I guess you better go get the salt shaker and melt some butter. It's Jolly Time!



Happy Monday! Hope there's a jolly week in store for all of you!
Chester :0=)

Pennsylvania- Cow Tipper's Paradise

Happy Friday! Hope this weekend bowls you over with fun!

Chester ;0=)

Safety First

Dad's doin' some paintin' at Pappy's house. Me, being the good dog that I am, wanted to make sure he was followin' safety precautions.

First of all, I showed up at Dad's work site for a surprise inspection.

Looks a little shaky. Better take a closer look.

Only two violations, one of  which was not wearin' a hard hat, and the other was the absence of a safety harness. I'll let you slide but it's gonna cost you some extra treats. He's lucky I'm willing to accept bribes. Carry on Dad.


Makin' sure the concrete is safe around Pappy's spring.

Good thing it's a hot day or this would be a miserable job. All is well and I gave Pappy my seal of approval.

After a long, hard day's work it's always fun to go party with a friend. Sorry, I should have introduced him, this is Buddy, my Golden friend. He weighs almost 20 pounds more than me so I can honestly say I did not party with a Bud light. 

We played hard so most of Mom's pictures look like this:



That about wraps up my weekend. Hope you had a weekend worth recovering from. If you need me, I'll be in the air conditioning and on my bed.

Woofs and cool slobbers,
Chester ;0=)

Timmm-berrr !!! Thursday

Have a smashing Thursday!
Chester ;0=)

WANTED

The weekend started out on it's usual good note of hangin' out with the 2 leggers on a Friday evening, relaxing together after what is usually a long, hard week. By Friday evening they are tired from the week-long struggle to make a somewhat decent life, for they were not born with silver spoons in their mouths. Afternoon tea has never been set out on the veranda by a humble servant for either of them-if you get my drift. Many Friday nights the sweet smelling fragrance of a pizza will fill the air, of which I am a most willing partaker of the meager crumbs they begrudgingly share. After an hour or so of TV or PC vegetation, I meander to my bedroom as they in turn trudge to their own. Sleep is sweet, knowing we will share good times together over the next two days.

Little did I know the Rebel yell had been uh, well, yelled...........

For the most part we are early risers and Saturday morning started with my usual breakfast while darkness still filled the sky. Then came the outdoor relief parade through the yard with Mom and I being joined by a leash. The leash is required by Mom, knowing that a skunk could be in the vicinity. She knows that I, being the gracious and entertaining dog that I am would more than likely want to offer my paw of friendship. But according to her, skunks are not a hospitable group and would turn tail, snubbing me profusely with their non-social airs.

As the sun rose and light began to overcome the surrounding darkness, it was easy to see that a fog had invaded the parcel that we call home. It was a thick blanket of white that not only covered the maturing soybeans but also moistened their sun parched leaves from the previous day's heat. I scanned the beauty of the contrasting green leaves and white misty air.

That's when my gaze was stopped short by a sheet of paper that had mysteriously been attached to one of our walnut trees overnight.



I couldn't imagine who would have placed this paper on the tree considering the fact that this tree is well away from the road and is surrounded by fields. The strange gnawing that had begun in the pit of my stomach turned quickly to outrage and horror upon closer inspection.



My cursed rival had slipped in quietly during the night and dealt this new weapon of warfare. He had bombarded my mind with a mental hand grenade. As the day progressed I came to find out he was taunting me all over town, displaying the poster at places he knows I frequent.

The store where Mom gets my biscuits and that nasty ear cleaner had one hanging on the porch railing.

The weather channel predicted a beautiful day which had Mom's SUV begging for a trip through the car wash tunnel. Yet again my pleasure was stolen as Mom paid for the wash and I saw the heartless trail my nemesis had left hanging on the outer wall.

I was overcome with a hatred that I never knew existed within me for this wretched rodent . Hard as it was to not go on a rampage, I stood still, knowing that I should not be hasty. A quickly designed plan would be my sure defeat in this contest between me and this newly formed army.

That's when it hit me that my newly acquired vehicle would be perfect for a full fledged attack. It's not your average vehicle, it is designed to transport soldiers into battle. I have shared the news of getting a vehicle with some of my dog friends on Facebook and I have no doubt that they will be at the ready when we decide to retaliate. If any of you dogs in DogBlogville feel prepared and are willing to serve, I will accept any and all. I don't believe a draft will be necessary.



A serious vehicle like this called for a personalized license plate. Lucky for me, Budrow Spain's Mom, Cheri, was in Facebook jail 2 weeks ago and made me this killer license plate.




The wanted poster that emerged from the groundhog underworld has only deepened my desire to rid the world of their poison forever. Normally you wouldn't think of us with labrador origins as being a hateful group. I can't explain it, maybe it's that I am an excellent judge of character. Or maybe it is that in my family tree, great hunters have passed their bloodthirst on to me and that is why I am now a prisoner of my own passion. Either way, I believe that this is my duty, maybe even my calling, to help the local farmer's succeed in their chosen endeavor.

May you all rest easier knowing that I am vigilant at my post,
Chester "Mad Dog" Hoover ;0=)